Post by DeadlyPeace on Feb 4, 2004 2:02:26 GMT -5
I don't know if this is true or not, but it's certainly funny!
At a recent COMDEX computer expo, Microsoft supremo Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and said: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we'd all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors then issued a press release saying that if GM developed technology the same way Microsoft did, then we'd all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. Your car would crash twice a day for no reason whatsoever
2. You'd have to buy a new car every time they repainted the lines on the road.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason at all. You'd just accept this, restart it and drive on.
4. Occasionally executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down completely and refuse to restart. In this case you'd have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought "Car95", "Car98", "Car2000" or "CarNT". But then you'd have to buy more seats....
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but it would only run on 5% of the roads.
7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights on your dashboard would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
10. Occasionally (for no reason whatsoever) your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally roadmaps (now a GM subsidiary) even though they neither needed them nor wanted them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model car, buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
At a recent COMDEX computer expo, Microsoft supremo Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and said: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we'd all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors then issued a press release saying that if GM developed technology the same way Microsoft did, then we'd all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. Your car would crash twice a day for no reason whatsoever
2. You'd have to buy a new car every time they repainted the lines on the road.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason at all. You'd just accept this, restart it and drive on.
4. Occasionally executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down completely and refuse to restart. In this case you'd have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought "Car95", "Car98", "Car2000" or "CarNT". But then you'd have to buy more seats....
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but it would only run on 5% of the roads.
7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights on your dashboard would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
10. Occasionally (for no reason whatsoever) your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally roadmaps (now a GM subsidiary) even though they neither needed them nor wanted them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model car, buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.